


stuck on your heart

by beingothrwrldly



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: 2019 NHL Entry Draft, Dumb Hockey Boys, Emotions, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Soft Hockey Boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:43:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22093444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beingothrwrldly/pseuds/beingothrwrldly
Summary: “Is this my birthday present?” Cole asks quietly. The mood feels too serious, and he wants Jack to smile again. “You confessing your undying love for me?”“I didn’t sayundyinglove,” Jack points out, but he’s already smiling again. Mission accomplished. “I saidlike.”“I know, but youmeantundying love,” Cole says, nodding. “I can tell, it’s all over your face.”“Oh my god,” Jack says, groaning as he falls back onto the bed. “I should've just gotten youweed.”
Relationships: Cole Caufield/Jack Hughes
Comments: 4
Kudos: 88





	stuck on your heart

**Author's Note:**

> Ahh, I wish I had an explanation for this, but I don't. This is a work of fiction about two boys in love, best friends, VERY little angst, extremely soft, lots of handholding and kissing and overuse of the word "like". 
> 
> Huge thanks to A for looking this over for me! The title is from The Best by Tina Turner, but the James Bay version which is all I listened to while writing this.
> 
> Finally, but most importantly, you do not have permission to read any part of this fic on a public podcast. And if you are in these tags or know anybody in these tags personally, PLEASE get out of here.

It's a couple minutes before midnight on New Year’s Eve when Jack kisses Cole for the first time.

They’re off in a corner of the living room, just outside the group, standing shoulder-to-shoulder against a wall. Cole has a plastic cup of warm champagne in his hand and he glances over at Jack, and Jack looks back over at the same time like they’d planned it that way. When Cole smiles at him, Jack smiles, too. When Jack kisses him, it’s soft and unexpected and a little clumsy, but Cole kisses back anyway. 

“Oh,” Cole says when Jack pulls back. He has his free hand on Jack’s elbow, but he’s not sure when he put it there.

Jack lets out a breath. “Sorry,” he says. “I’m a little early.”

“No, that’s okay,” Cole says quickly. 

“You wanna go upstairs?” Jack asks softly. He brushes a thumb across Cole’s cheekbone, ghost-soft, and Cole sets his cup down on a table and nods.

At the top of the stairs, everyone starts counting down from ten. Jack pulls Cole into his bedroom and closes the door. 

Jack backs him up against the wall next to the door and kisses him again, harder this time, more desperate. He slides his hands up under Cole’s shirt like he’s going to pull it off, fingers splayed and pressing into the dips between Cole’s ribs. It feels like Jack is saying everything at once without saying anything at all, and Cole’s head is spinning. 

Cole has to push up on his toes a little to kiss back. “What the fuck are we doing,” he manages to whisper, but Jack just laughs a little and kisses him again.

They've never done this before. Cole wonders fleetingly if they're just doing this now because they’ve both had too much champagne. Then he wonders, a little less fleetingly, if Jack remembered to lock the door.

“I’m not doing the college thing,” Jack whispers suddenly. It comes out in a rush, hot and urgent against Cole’s skin, and Cole leans back and squints at him. “And, like, you’re—shit, sorry. Sorry.” Jack leans back, and when Cole looks over he’s shaking his head, frowning with creases between his eyebrows. “It’s your birthday,” he adds, quieter, “I didn’t mean to ruin anything, I just—I thought maybe this was turning into…”

“Tomorrow’s my birthday,” Cole whispers dumbly, because he’s not sure what else to say. “Did—I know you’re not doing the college thing, I—you thought this was turning into what?” Everything is out of order, disheveled, and it suddenly feels like he’s struggling to keep up.

“I mean, this is turning into something,” Jack whispers back. “You and me. Right?”

“Uh.” Cole swallows hard. He’s pretty sure it is, if their current situation is anything to go by, but he’s not sure how to say that out loud.

“I just...” Jack trails off, and then he starts to take a step back. “Shit. Maybe this isn’t—”

Cole reaches up instinctively and grabs Jack’s bicep and holds him in place. Jack doesn't move after all. “I know what you mean,” Cole says quickly. “It—I think it’s turning into something, too. Yeah.” 

Jack leans in again and kisses him, hard, with both hands on the sides of Cole’s neck, and Cole makes a noise he doesn’t mean to make and kisses back. “Sorry,” Jack whispers against his mouth. 

Cole isn’t sure if Jack is talking to him as a best friend, or if he’s talking to him as whatever it is they‘re turning into, but he puts his hand on the side of Jack’s neck and whispers back, “Stop apologizing, you don’t have to.”

And it’s not a lie - there’s nothing to be sorry for, and Jack is still kissing him but Cole’s not sure how to pinpoint what he’s feeling, exactly. Jack has always been a constant in Cole’s life for as long as he can remember, this endless whirlwind of thoughts and feelings, and the idea of being apart in the fall gets more and more daunting the closer they get to it. Cole has known, obviously, that they’d be going down different paths after this year, but hearing Jack say it out loud still makes his heart stop and makes his stomach flip and brings him crashing back down to earth anyway.

Jack kisses the corner of Cole’s mouth and then hooks an arm around Cole’s neck, pulls him close. “Quit worrying about the door, I locked it,” he says quietly, like he knows what Cole thinks about without Cole saying it out loud. 

Cole closes his eyes and hugs him around the waist, turns his face into Jack’s neck and thinks, _please don’t leave me behind_. 

Jack sighs like he’d heard what Cole is thinking. “Sorry,” he whispers again. “I didn’t mean to mess everything up.” 

The next day, Jack comes over for dinner for Cole’s birthday. Cole meets him at the door and Jack squeezes Cole’s elbow before shrugging his jacket off to hang it up, and the contact feels so charged that Cole feels like he’s been struck by lightning. They sit across from each other at the table through dinner like nothing’s changed, except to Cole it feels like absolutely everything has. 

Jack charms Cole’s parents the way he always does, and when Cole’s mom tells him to stay over instead of driving home, Cole wonders if she’d do the same thing if she knew what they’d been doing last night. 

“Turcs gave me some weed,” Cole says when they’ve gone upstairs to bed. Jack pulls his shirt off to change into one of Cole’s t-shirts, and Cole sits on his bed and watches the way Jack’s muscles shift in his back, and thinks about running his palms over Jack’s skin. “You wanna share it? The stuff he gets is always so fucking strong.”

“Isn’t it wild how everybody thinks he’s like, _so_ innocent,” Jack says, messing with his hair as he turns back to face Cole.

“Okay, _nobody_ thinks that,” Cole laughs. 

“My mom does,” Jack says, and he grins at Cole. “Can you fucking believe it?”

Cole laughs again, and he leans back on his hands and tilts his head to the side and rests his cheek on his shoulder. “We could take it outside, sit on the roof? I know it’s cold, but—”

“Can we talk first?” Jack asks suddenly, and he looks up and meets Cole’s eyes. His eyes are bright, clear, determined; Cole’s stomach flips. “About last night. Like, substance-free?”

“Uh, sure,” Cole sits up straight and nods even though he feels an impending sense of doom. “Yeah, okay.” 

Jack walks over and sits down next to him, a little too close but a little too far away. “I just want you to know that last night wasn’t just like, a fluke or something,” he says. His voice is quiet, nervous, but to Cole it still sounds like home. “Like, I know we were drinking and stuff, but like, I like you,” Jack continues. His voice is stronger, and when he looks over at Cole, Cole feels like Jack can see all the way into his heart. “Like, I _like_ you, like you. I’m not sure if, if you _know_ that.”

Cole swallows hard, and shakes his head. “I, uh. I didn’t _know_ that,” he says weakly. “But I kinda thought...I mean, after last night. I wondered.”

Jack watches him for a second, and then he nods quickly. “Okay,” he says, “well, I like you. And I think you like me.”

This is Jack’s favorite way to have tough conversations - blunt, up front, a little embarrassing - and for once Cole is grateful for it. “Oh yeah?” he says. His voice is shaking a little. “You think I do?”

Jack’s pokerface is good but Cole sees relief wash over him, just for a split second, and then he breaks into a smile that warms Cole from the inside out. “Yeah,” Jack says. “I do. So I think we should let this turn into something.”

Cole has no idea what to say to that, and after a minute Jack’s smile fades and he looks down at his hands. “I know this is kinda heavy,” Jack adds, softer.

“Is this my birthday present?” Cole asks quietly. The mood feels too serious, and he wants Jack to smile again. “You confessing your undying love for me?”

“I didn’t say _undying_ love,” Jack points out, but he’s already smiling again. Mission accomplished. “I said _like_.”

“I know, but you _meant_ undying love,” Cole says, nodding. “I can tell, it’s all over your face.”

“Oh my god,” Jack says, groaning as he falls back onto the bed. “I should've just gotten you _weed_.” Jack is quiet for a minute, and then he sighs. “This is _weird_,” he says. “Right?”

Cole lays down next to him and laces his hands over his stomach. His elbow bumps Jack’s elbow, but neither of them pull away. “It’s a little weird,” Cole says to the ceiling. 

“Good, great, good,” Jack says. There’s a nearly endless pause, and then out of the corner of his eye, Cole catches Jack looking over at him. 

“You didn’t mess anything up last night,” Cole says. “You said you did, but...”

“It felt like I did,” Jack says. When Cole looks over, Jack’s turned onto his side, his arm folded under his head, and he’s watching Cole. “I felt like an idiot.”

“Okay, well, you didn’t,” Cole says. “And like, you shouldn’t feel like an idiot. It’s not like it’s a dealbreaker, if you don’t go to college. It’s not like I didn’t _know_ you weren’t going to college.”

“Okay,” Jack says.

“Okay,” Cole says, because he doesn’t know what else to say. “You were right,” he adds after a minute. “About me liking you, too.”

Jack reaches over and pokes Cole hard in the stomach. “I knew you did,” he says. He’s grinning like an idiot but Cole can hear the relief in his voice.

“Bullshit, you _knew_ it,” Cole says, rolling his eyes. 

“I said that I thought you did,” Jack says, matter-of-fact, and it sounds like he’s gearing up for a debate. “I said—”

“Oh my god,” Cole says, laughing, “I heard what you said, I’m saying you were right, okay. I _like_ like you, too.” 

“Seems like maybe this _could_ turn into undying love, then,” Jack says. “Like, I think there’s a real potential for it.” He bites at the fingernail on his index finger, a nervous habit he’s had since they were little kids, and Cole feels weirdly comforted by it.

“You think so?” Cole says, even though he’s not sure where he found the nerves to say anything at all. He reaches over and touches Jack’s wrist. “Stop doing that, don’t.”

Jack does stop, but he bites at his bottom lip instead. “I think so, yeah,” he says. His cheeks are pink, and Cole wants to kiss them. “Don't you?”

Cole smiles at him, helpless. “Yeah,” he says, nodding. “I think so, too.”

...

At the end of February, Cole is tucked up against Jack’s side in the back row of the bus on the way home from Duluth. They’re sharing Jack’s AirPods and a blanket with the armrest between them pushed up, and Jack has his eyes closed and his fingers linked with Cole’s under the blanket.

Cole watches Jack for a long time, streetlights catching his face every few seconds. When the song they’re listening to fades out, Jack lets out this little sigh, and Cole moves closer even though it’s not really possible for them to be any closer. “Hey,” Cole whispers, resting his chin on Jack’s shoulder and nosing at his ear. “Hey.”

Under the blanket, Jack’s grip on his hand tightens for a second, and Jack smiles before he opens his eyes and looks over. The bus is quiet with sleep and nobody’s even sitting in the few rows in front of them, but Cole feels like their whole life is out on display for everybody to see anyway. “Hey,” Jack finally whispers back. “What’s up?”

Cole smiles a little, shakes his head. “Nothing,” he whispers. The streetlights catch Jack’s face again, and out of nowhere, Cole feels breathless. He suddenly can’t bear to look at Jack anymore, and he rests his forehead to Jack’s shoulder and feels stupid. “Does anything ever scare you?”

Jack doesn’t do anything for a long time and then he kisses the top of Cole’s head. Cole closes his eyes and tries to ignore the ache in his throat. “Like what,” Jack finally whispers back. “Like, anything?”

Cole isn't sure how to answer. “Like, I don’t know,” he finally says. “What’s going to happen, I guess. The next few months. I don’t know.”

Jack doesn’t say anything, and Cole isn’t sure how to take that. 

After the bus drops them off, Jack drives Cole back home, and they sit in the driveway for a long time without talking. Jack turns his headlights off but keeps the car idling so it stays warm, and Cole stares up at his bedroom window and feels like he’s going to cry but he’s not really sure why. 

Jack has his hand over Cole’s on the center console, and he keeps running his middle finger up and down Cole’s middle finger, slow and even, steady. “Look, on the bus,” Jack says, after they spend too long saying nothing. The way he says it is cautious and slow, like he’s not sure he should be bringing it up at all. He pauses, and his finger stills on Cole’s knuckle. Cole looks down at their hands and then over at Jack. He still feels like he’s going to cry. “Were you talking about, like, us?”

Cole bites hard on the inside of his cheek and looks over at Jack. “Yeah, I guess so.”

Jack is watching him, his face carefully blank, waiting. The silence stretches on forever until Jack looks up at Cole’s bedroom window and says, “Are you scared we're gonna break up after the draft?” 

This time, Cole turns his hand over and takes Jack’s hand, fits their fingers together. “Yeah,” he says. “A little.” He feels ashamed at how small it sounds when he says it out loud. 

“I mean, I'm not gonna break up with you,” Jack says, matter-of-fact. 

“Okay,” Cole says, “but you don’t really _know_ that.”

“Okay, but I _do_,” Jack says again. This time, it carries more weight, and it startles Cole a little; he tightens his grip on Jack’s hand. “Where we are for the next couple years doesn’t really matter anyway,” Jack says. His voice is quiet but confident, and Cole takes a deep breath. “I know you’ll be in Madison, and I’ll be wherever, but it doesn’t really _matter_ because I love you, and I think we can handle being apart for a few months.”

It’s tucked in like a secret, _I love you_, but Jack says it like it’s automatic, even though they’ve never said it before. Not like this. 

Cole wants to wait to reply until he can trust himself to talk without sounding like he’s going to break down, but he realizes after a minute that he might be waiting forever. “You can’t just spring I love you on me like that,” he says quietly. His voice is only a little shaky. 

“Sorry, but I can’t take it back,” Jack says, and he reaches over and pushes at Cole’s shoulder with his knuckles. “Too late. I can’t just keep something like that to myself forever.” He smiles at Cole, kind and soft and careful, and Cole leans over and kisses him. Jack makes this soft little surprised sound into Cole’s mouth, and he puts his hand on the side of Cole’s neck and kisses back.

Time passes impossibly, and Cole isn’t sure if it’s been minutes or hours or days when he finally pulls back. Jack’s nose is cold, and the windows are fogged over at the edges even though the heat’s blasting. Cole reaches across Jack and draws a heart in the bottom corner of the driver’s side window before settling back in his seat. “You know I love you, too,” Cole says carefully. “Right?”

Jack licks his lips and tilts his head, smiles big like he’s been waiting for this moment for years. “I don’t know,” he says. “_Do_ I know that?” 

Cole laughs a little. “I don’t know,” he says. “I think so?”

“You’ve never _said_ it, that’s all I mean,” Jack says. He rests his head against the headrest on his seat, still smiling. Cole hopes he never stops smiling. 

“I’ve said it to you like, a thousand times before,” Cole says. “Probably a million.”

“Yeah, but not like _that_,” Jack says. “I’ve said it a million times too, but not like _that_.”

“Okay, well, I love you, too,” Cole says quietly, but he doesn’t feel like there are enough words to capture the way he means it. “Like. I probably love you too much.”

“Impossible,” Jack whispers.

“I know, right?” Cole shakes his head. “Totally crazy.” He looks up at his bedroom window again, and Jack squeezes his hand. “I just mean, like, you were just my best friend two months ago and now you’re my best friend and my boyfriend, I don’t really know what to do with all that stuff.” He looks down at their hands again. “I don’t know if that makes any sense, it sounds kinda stupid,” Cole adds, because when he says it out loud it kinda does. 

“It sounds a little stupid,” Jack says, and Cole laughs a little. There’s a long pause, and then Jack adds, quieter, “But, like, I get it. Going from one kind of love to this whole other level of love, it’s…intense.”

Cole watches Jack, but he's not sure what to say. “It’s super intense,” he finally says, because that’s exactly how it feels. “I’m just trying to be realistic, I guess. I don’t know.”

“I mean, I guess I can’t _promise_ it’s gonna keep working, you know?” Jack says. He watches their hands, and Cole keeps watching him. “But like, I feel like it’s working now. And isn’t it kinda dumb to play it safe just because there’s a chance things might not work out down the line?” He looks over at Cole, finally. “I don’t know, I think it’s kinda dumb.” 

“Plus I probably can’t get rid of you even if it doesn’t work out,” Cole says, scrunching up his nose.

Jack smiles. “Stuck with me forever, one way or another,” he says. “At least this way you get something good out of it.” He wiggles his eyebrows, in a way that Cole assumes is supposed to be seductive or something, and Cole groans and rolls his eyes but he can’t help but laugh, too. “You’re being too pessimistic,” Jack adds, more serious. “You should stop.”

“Maybe that’s my thing now,” Cole says. “Maybe I’m the pessimistic one and you’re the optimistic one. Don't most couples have a thing like that? Maybe that’s our thing.”

“They _say_ opposites attract,” Jack says thoughtfully. “I dunno, you’re only being pessimistic about us, though, I hate that. You’re usually not this bad. You’re definitely the smart one, though, for sure.”

Cole rolls his eyes. “What's that make you, the cute one?”

Jack laughs. “Ouch, that’s kinda brutal, eh?” He watches Cole. “Is cute the opposite of smart? You’ve got a nice face, though.”

“Nice face,” Cole echoes softly, smiling back at him. “Nice face with substance behind it, maybe. Brains.”

“Right, exactly,” Jack nods. “That’s what I meant. And like, up here?” He taps his own temple with two fingers. “Empty. Just a nice face, nothing else.” He rests his head on the headrest and squints at Cole. “Except I know I’m right about you being the smart one, so maybe I’m a little smart, too.”

“Maybe we’re both cute _and_ smart, just different percentages,” Cole says. 

“Right, yeah,” Jack says. “Sixty-forty or something.” 

Cole squints at him. “Maybe more like seventy-thirty,” he says. “Don’t give yourself too much credit in the brains department.”

Jack laughs out loud at that, and then he watches Cole for a long time and sighs. “I really do love you,” he says again, and it’s quieter this time but carries even more weight. “You’re probably more like the best one. Cute, smart, great. No contest.”

...

Halfway through March, they break two different program records on the same goal. One of the equipment guys splits the puck in half for them and they pose for a picture standing side by side with both halves of the puck, and Cole feels like that has to be symbolic somehow.

“‘He’s a really good _buddy_ of mine,’” Cole says later, tangled up and breathless in Jack’s bedsheets. Jack’s parents are out of town overnight, Alex is out with some of the other guys, and Cole can’t remember where Luke is but the important thing is that he’s not _here_. “I can’t believe you said that.”

Jack laughs, hooking his fingers in the waistband of Cole’s sweatpants. “Shut the fuck up, what’d you want me to call you?” Jack says. His voice is rough, and Cole closes his eyes and lifts his hips so Jack can tug his sweatpants down. “I said you were really hot tonight, too, why aren’t you focusing more on _that_ sound byte?”

“That’s _not_ how you meant that sound byte, you meant it like _hockey_,” Cole says, and he sucks in a breath when Jack wraps his hand around Cole’s dick. “_Fuck_.”

“How the fuck do you know how I meant it?” Jack whispers, his breath hot against Cole’s jaw. He kisses Cole on the neck while he starts to move his hand, slow and excruciatingly steady. Cole arches up without thinking about it, and then just as they’ve gotten into a good rhythm, Jack’s hand goes still again and he sits back up. “Maybe I meant it like, damn, he’s _hot_. I don’t have a one-track mind.” 

Cole groans and presses his head back into the pillow, closing his eyes tight until he sees stars. “What the _fuck_ are you doing,” he asks through gritted teeth.

He knows what Jack’s doing. Jack does, too.

“I think we should talk about this,” Jack says. He still has his hand on Cole’s dick, still unmoving. 

“_Right_ now?” When Cole opens one eye, Jack is watching him, smirking. Cole wants to strangle him to death. “We’re not talking about this _right_ now.”

“Communication is one of the keys to a healthy relationship, Cole,” Jack says, innocent and infuriating. 

“You need to shut the fuck up and go back to what you were doing _before_,” Cole hisses. “Why the fuck do you have to get all philosophical every time you’ve got your hand on my dick?”

Jack breaks into a full grin at that. “You seem stressed, _buddy_.”

“I fucking hate you,” Cole whispers. Jack starts moving again, long and deliberate strokes that feel like electricity, and Cole lets out a shaky breath.

“You fucking love me,” Jack whispers back, and he kisses Cole. Cole has his hand on the back of Jack’s neck, and he pushes it up into Jack’s hair, tugs a little. Jack whimpers into Cole’s mouth, biting at his bottom lip. “_Stop_,” he says quietly, and it comes out a little like a whine. 

Cole grins, and Jack does, too. “You want me to stop?” 

“You’re a fucking asshole,” Jack whispers, but he laughs a little. 

“You’re honestly _so_ fucking romantic,” Cole says. 

“_Don’t_ stop,” Jack whispers, biting at Cole’s jaw. “I was just joking, I love you, be nice to me.”

“I’m always nice to you,” Cole says. “I love you, too.”

...

In April, Cole goes over to Jack’s house to watch the lottery with a bunch of guys from the team.

It’s nine hundred and thirty two miles between Madison and Newark. Cole looks it up again as soon as New Jersey ends up at the top of the list. 

_its less than 1k_, Jack texts him from across the room. _we can do less than 1k_. 

Cole isn’t sure what to write back, but when he looks up from his phone, Jack is laughing about something with Patrick and Alex, and Cole feels like they’re already a thousand miles apart. 

After everybody else leaves, Cole is mindlessly scrolling through Instagram, curled up in the corner of the couch while Jack is saying goodnight to his parents upstairs. He comes back downstairs and climbs over the back of the couch, crawls over next to Cole and hugs him around the waist. Cole tosses his phone onto the coffee table and kisses the top of Jack’s head, hugging him back. “Wanna just hide down here forever?” Jack asks. “Pretty sure my folks’ll keep us hidden if we ask nicely.”

“They’ll keep me hidden, maybe,” Cole says. “Keeping you hidden...I mean, that’s questionable.”

Jack hums, soft and agreeable. “Seems like they like you better, doesn’t it?”

“Are you having an existential crisis?” Cole whispers. 

“It’s weird, eh?” Jack whispers back. “It’s weird that there’s like, a real _place_ now, not just the idea of a team. You know?”

Cole closes his eyes. “Maybe you won’t go first,” he says quietly. “Maybe you’ll go somewhere else and it’ll still be a surprise when you get called.”

“Oh, like _that_ makes it any better.” Jack huffs out a little laugh into Cole’s neck, and then he sighs. “You’ll be in Wisconsin no matter what,” he whispers. “I’m probably gonna be in Jersey. A thousand miles is a really fucking big distance.”

“I know, I tried to tell you that,” Cole whispers back, his heart pounding in his ears. He cups the back of Jack’s head, but he doesn’t know what else to say.

There’s a long pause, and then Jack tightens his grip on Cole. “I think maybe you were right, before,” Jack finally whispers. “This really is kinda scary.”

...

Cole is sitting at a table by himself at Trevor’s graduation party when Jack walks up behind him, puts his hands on Cole’s shoulders. “Hey.”

Cole looks up, and Jack is grinning at him, backlit by early summer sun. “Hi,” Cole says, grinning back. 

“You wanna get out of here?” Jack squeezes Cole’s shoulders. “I thought maybe we could go back to my house. Make out for a while.”

“Hmm.” Cole purses his lips, pretending to think about it.

“You might get lucky,” Jack adds, wiggling his eyebrows. 

Cole laughs. “Gross.” He stands up anyway and follows Jack to his car.

Back at the house, Jack is out of the car before Cole can get his seatbelt unbuckled. He waits in front of the car, jingling the keys in his hand, and Cole grins as he walks over. “You’re fucking thirsty as hell,” he says, patting Jack on the side. 

Jack grabs his face in both hands and kisses him hard. He’s still holding the keys and they’re digging into Cole’s cheek, but Cole barely notices. “Sure am,” Jack says softly. “Lucky you.”

...

On the morning of the draft, Cole is sitting next to Jack at breakfast when Jack pushes his knuckles against Cole’s knee under the table. “Hey, you almost done?” Jack raises an eyebrow when Cole looks up at him. “I was gonna go back upstairs.”

Cole nods, quick, because he’s too anxious to do much more than push his eggs around his plate anyway, and with everything going on, he hasn’t had any time alone with Jack for at least a week. “Yep,” he says quietly, standing up from the table. There’s enough people in the room where nobody really notices them leaving, but Cole still tells his mom they’re going upstairs anyway. 

Cole has Jack backed up against the wall next to the sink in Jack’s bathroom when it happens. 

He bites at Jack’s jawline and tries to untie the drawstring on Jack’s sweatpants while Jack has his hands on Cole’s hips. “Why do you always have to double-knot these,” Cole grumbles as he fumbles with the knot. 

Jack starts laughing, and then there are two quick raps on the door and Trevor doesn’t give them a chance to answer before he walks in on them. “Hey, your mom said—”

Cole feels Jack’s hands freeze on his hips. 

“Oh, no,” Trevor says. “Hi. _No!_ Not hi, no. Uh, I thought I might’ve left—you know what, this can wait. This can wait, let me just get the fuck out of your way. This was—I’m gonna go. Sorry. I didn’t—I’m gonna shut up and I’m gonna _go_.”

“Uh-huh,” Jack says, and his voice sounds higher than normal. “Okay!”

Cole closes his eyes until he hears the door shut again, and he drops his forehead onto Jack’s shoulder. “Holy _shit_,” Jack whispers. 

“He won’t say anything,” Cole whispers back quickly, but he’s immediately ashamed that he even thinks to say it. He lifts his head and looks up at Jack, but when Jack looks back, Cole can’t read his expression.

“Why didn’t you lock the fucking door?” Jack asks, and Cole can’t figure out if he’s pissed until Jack pushes away from the wall and side-steps away from him. 

Cole takes a couple steps backwards and watches as Jack walks over to stand in front of the sink. He has his back to Cole, but Cole can see him in the mirror and Jack’s scowling as he re-ties the drawstring on his sweatpants. “Why didn’t _you_ lock the fucking door?” 

“Because I thought we had a few minutes to just be _us_,” Jack says, “why’d you have to tell your _mom_ we were coming back here?”

“I didn’t think she’d send _Zegras_ looking for us!” Cole doesn’t realize he’s pacing until Jack catches him by the wrist. 

“It’s fine,” Jack says quietly. He squeezes Cole’s wrist, quick, and Cole suddenly feels like he’s going to cry. “Okay? Relax. It’s not the end of the world, forget it.”

“Don’t get pissed at me, then,” Cole snaps back, even though he doesn’t mean to. “You’re not the only one keeping this huge fucking secret from, like, _everybody_.”

“It’s not a secret,” Jack says. He’s not wrong - their families know, at least, it’s not a _total_ secret - but Jack sounds unsure and looks unsure and Cole feels like everything is about to fall apart. “Wait,” Jack says, frowning like he’s just figuring it out. “Is this a secret?”

“Nobody fucking _knows_, Jack,” Cole says. 

Jack frowns at Cole. “Why are we keeping this a secret?”

“I don’t _know_,” Cole says, because he doesn’t.

Cole doesn’t let himself really freak out about any of it until after everybody else has gone down to meet the bus, telling his mom he needs to fix his shirt and ducking into a bathroom in the lobby of the hotel. And of course it’s Trevor who walks in on him again, except this time Cole is by himself at the sink, trying to keep from having a full blown panic attack. 

“Thought maybe you were making a run for it,” Trevor says quietly, locking the deadbolt on the bathroom door like this is all completely normal.

“You’re really invading my privacy today,” Cole says. 

“Okay, fair, but I _swear_ it’s not on purpose,” Trevor says. He sounds very calm, and Cole tries to dial into it but it doesn’t really work. “Well, I mean, this time it’s kinda on purpose.” Trevor walks over and picks up Cole’s jacket from where it’s laying on the counter and drapes it over his arm. “You’re gonna ruin your fancy jacket, bud.”

“I can’t _breathe_,” Cole says, gesturing towards himself. “Is it legal for you to lock a public restroom like that?”

“I’m not sure,” Trevor says, shrugging, and it sounds soft and soothing and Cole feels like he might be able to take a deep breath again someday. Trevor puts a hand on Cole’s back between his shoulder blades. “You look like how I feel right now, you should try to chill.”

Cole glares at him in the reflection. “Gee, thanks, great advice,” he says. “You look how I _wish_ I felt.”

“Oh hey, that’s flattering!” Trevor says with a smile. He turns to the mirror and straightens his tie, messes with his hair a little. “I hope Hughes is alright with you ogling other dudes when he’s not around.”

Cole groans and drops his head back down to stare at the drain in the sink. “Did he send you back in here?” he asks quietly. 

“Nah,” Trevor says. “Your mom did, but I think he wanted somebody to check on you, too.”

When Cole looks back up at him in the mirror, Trevor is smiling, just a little. “You weren’t supposed to see that this morning,” Cole says. 

“I mean, I figured,” Trevor says, shrugging. “But whatever, I’m not like, scarred from it or anything. It’s cool, you know...whatever you’re doing. I don’t know. You’re messing around with Hughes, big fucking deal. Is that the real reason you’re freaked out?”

“Oh, yeah, this has _nothing_ to do with the draft, I’m just totally freaking out over you walking in on me making out with my _boyfriend_.” Cole meets Trevor’s eyes in the mirror. “Sorry,” he adds, quieter. “That was kind of rude.” 

“Well, I meant more of a mix of the two and not an either-or thing,” Trevor says. He watches Cole for an uncomfortably long time, his eyes soft, and Cole feels bad for snapping at him in the first place. “Boyfriend is way more serious than I thought,” Trevor finally says after a minute. “Kinda feels like I’m the one who should apologize for assuming you were just messing around.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Cole says. He turns on the water, splashes some on his face. 

“How long’s that been going on?” Trevor takes a hand towel out of the basket on the counter and passes it over to Cole. 

“About six months,” Cole says quietly, and he’s surprised to find that it’s not quite as terrifying to say it out loud as he thought it’d be.

“Six months,” Trevor echoes, more to himself than to Cole, and he whistles softly and shakes his head. “That’s like, a long fucking time. Six _months_.”

“Yeah,” Cole says. “And now I guess I’m just trying not to fuck it up before he becomes a pro athlete and I’m just a fucking college student, I guess.”

“Hey, don’t sell yourself short,” Trevor says, and Cole presses the towel over his face and laughs. “I know that _sounded_ like a joke?” Trevor adds, and he’s scrunching up his nose when Cole looks over at him. “I didn’t mean for it to sound like that, I just meant don’t make it sound like you’re not doing something great, too, sorry. Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Cole says, and he turns and leans against the counter next to Trevor. “Maybe we are just messing around, I don’t know.”

“I mean, are you?” Trevor makes a face. “Like, he’s loved you forever.” Trevor says it like it’s obvious, like even though he didn’t know, he still _knew_. 

“I mean, he loves everybody.” Cole feels guilty saying it like that, and next to him, Trevor scoffs. 

“Stop doing that.” Trevor bumps his shoulder against Cole’s. “Stop acting like you’re nothing special. It’s not like you hope he likes you back, anyway, like, he _loves_ you.”

Cole knows Jack does, but he hasn’t had a minute alone with Jack since this morning and he feels a little uneasy. Still, he nods and says, “Yeah.”

“Yeah,” Trevor echoes. “So, like, what’s the big deal? Like he’s gonna go off to Jersey and forget you exist or something?”

“He could go to New York,” Cole says without even thinking.

Trevor sighs. They’ve had this same exchange dozens of times. “He’s going to Jersey,” he says flatly. “Me _saying_ he’s going to Jersey isn’t going to jinx him.”

“All I’m saying is it could go either way.” Cole tries to take a deep breath. 

“He’s not gonna change,” Trevor says, quiet but firm. “If it was me…”

“But it’s not you, though,” Cole says, feeling a little defensive for no real reason at all.

“Yeah, no shit it’s not,” Trevor says. “Because it’s _you_. It’s always been you, it’ll always _be_ you.” He smiles a little, and Cole holds his breath. “Like, do you think I’m surprised? I’m not surprised.”

Cole exhales and lets his head fall back, and he studies the ceiling tiles for a minute. “He forgot to lock the door earlier,” Cole says. 

“What a fucking amateur,” Trevor says, and it makes Cole laugh before he can help himself. When he looks back over at Trevor, Trevor is smiling at him. 

“I’m just trying to be realistic about all this,” Cole says quietly. 

Trevor’s smile fades, and his eyes go soft. “I don’t think you have to,” he says. He bumps his shoulder against Cole’s again, but this time he leaves it there. “I think Jack’s the one thing you don’t have to worry about, anyway.”

“How do I _know_ that?” Cole asks. He’s not sure if there’s an answer. “How do _you_ know that?”

Trevor doesn’t say anything for a long time, and Cole holds his breath. “I mean, I don’t _know_ that,” Trevor finally says, and it’s quiet and honest and Cole’s chest hurts. “Nobody can know that, I just kinda feel like it’s gotta mean something, if I already knew and you didn’t tell me. You know what I mean? Like, whatever you guys are, maybe it _transcends_ whatever bullshit we’re all dealing with. You know? Isn’t that what soulmates are?”

Cole watches him for a long time. “That’s pretty deep,” he says. 

“_I’m_ pretty deep,” Trevor says seriously.

“Oh.” Cole nods slowly, and he feels like his heart rate is starting to come back down. “_You_ are?”

“Don't be an asshole,” Trevor says, smiling.

Cole smiles back, because he can’t help it. “Sorry to keep this from you,” he says. “It wasn’t supposed to be a big secret.”

Trevor shakes his head. “We’ve all got our secrets,” he says, and he sounds a little wistful. “It’s okay if it was.”

...

Cole feels like he's having an out of body experience when they get to their seats at Rogers Arena, scattered around the stands like leaves in the wind. Alex ends up sitting a couple rows behind Jack and he sends a selfie of the two of them to their group text before everything gets going. _omg look who i met 🤩_ he adds, and it makes Cole laugh and releases a tiny bit of the tension in his chest.

_ooomg what a couple of fuckin STUDS_, Trevor replies, along with about a thousand hearteyed faces. 

_soo jealous_, Cole sends back. _i hope hes as nice as u hoped??_

_even nicer_, Alex writes back. _a total dreamboat, celeb crush material 100%_

A notification pops up from Jack, separate from the group text, and it says, _STOP talking about me, ur totally obsessed._ Cole smiles and taps over to their conversation. Three dots show up and then they disappear, then they show up, then they disappear. _i love u_, Jack finally sends back. It’s short and simple, and Cole reads it over and over again. _just wanna make sure u know before our whole lives change forever. _

_i know_, Cole sends back. _I love u too_. 

Jack gets picked first, just like everyone's been saying. Cole claps until his palms sting, and he’s kind of surprised that it's not that heartbreaking after all, knowing for sure where they'll both end up in the fall. With every pick, he feels more and more like the puzzle pieces are finally all snapping into place. 

There are thirteen picks between when Jack’s name is called and when Cole’s name is called by Montreal. After he pulls his own jersey on, he’s sucked into the whirlwind backstage of photos and interviews and handshakes with people he vaguely recognizes. His head is spinning by the time he gets a minute to duck into a bathroom by himself. 

When he does, he finds the room empty except for Jack, leaning against the wall next to the hand dryer with his eyes closed and hands in his pockets. “Hey,” Cole says, his voice breaking, and he clears his throat and laughs a little when Jack opens his eyes and looks at him. 

“Hi,” Jack says, and he pushes away from the wall. He offers a smile, small and cautious, and Cole clears his throat again, blinking quickly. “We keep meeting in bathrooms today.”

“I know,” Cole says, “what the fuck?”

“I just, like.” Jack gestures vaguely. “Needed a second, I guess.”

“Yeah,” Cole nods. “Me too.”

“Should’ve said I was waiting for you,” Jack takes a couple steps closer, so Cole does, too. “Like it was fate or something that we both ended up in _this_ bathroom.”

“Aren’t you always waiting for me?” Cole says, and when Jack smiles at him, he can’t help but smile back.

“Forever, yeah,” Jack says quietly. He watches Cole for a long time, chewing at his bottom lip, and Cole holds his breath. “Listen, I wanted to apologize for this morning.”

Cole is shaking his head before Jack finishes his sentence. “You don’t have to do that,” he says.

“I was kind of an asshole,” Jack says, “and you don’t deserve that, so. I’m sorry. We don’t have to keep this secret. I didn’t realize we were doing that, and I’m really sorry.”

Cole swallows hard and nods. “It’s okay,” he says. He doesn’t trust himself to say anything else. 

There’s a heartbeat of time when neither of them does anything. Then Jack lets out a quick exhale of breath and turns his hat around backwards, and he closes the distance between them and pulls Cole into a hug. It feels familiar in this weird, wild universe they’ve ended up in; normal and comfortable and too much like home. Cole hugs back with everything he has and turns his face against Jack’s neck. “Stop being sad,” Jack whispers. 

“I’m not sad,” Cole whispers back when he trusts himself enough to talk again. “Kinda feel like I’m fraternizing with the enemy here, though.”

“I mean, make an exception for one second, would you?” Jack leans back and squints at Cole. “I didn’t even think of that, imagine if you’d gone second?”

“You’d have to request a trade,” Cole says. 

“Don’t think I wouldn’t,” Jack says, and he reaches up and turns Cole’s hat backwards, too. 

“And we would’ve had our own rivalry,” Cole adds. “Number one versus number two forever.”

“I mean, we know who the real number one would be,” Jack says, and he taps Cole on the chest. 

“Shut up,” Cole mutters, but Jack smiles at him like he means it. 

“I’m _so_ fucking proud of you,” Jack whispers back. It catches Cole off-guard. “Cole.”

Cole leans back and looks at Jack, and Jack breaks into this smile that looks like sunshine, his eyes sparkling. “I love you,” Cole says. “You know?”

Jack keeps smiling. “I know.”

Cole grabs him by the chin and kisses him again, and it feels like barely a second goes by before Jack leans back. “I was thinking,” he says. 

Cole groans and drops his forehead down to Jack’s shoulder. “Can you just stop thinking for _one_ minute?” he says, laughing. 

“No, _listen_,” Jack says, but he’s laughing, too. “We should all go up to the cabin this summer.” Cole looks up at him, and Jack kisses Cole again, softer this time. 

Cole feels his knees go weak, and he curls his hands in the fabric of Jack’s jersey. “What, like, _all_ of us?”

“Nah, no,” Jack shakes his head, “I told Turcs, like, maybe it could just be the four of us. You and me, him and Zegs. Once we’re all back from camp and stuff.”

Cole wonders for a second if Jack’s told Alex about them, about what they’ve been doing, about who they are to each other now. “Yeah?”

Jack nods. “Yeah.” He smiles a lopsided smile, and Cole feels dizzy. “One last trip before everything really gets going. Just say yes, c’mon.”

“Hmm.” Cole squints at Jack, pretending to think it over. “For how long?”

“Few days,” Jack says. “Maybe like, a week?”

Cole makes a face. “A week at a cabin on the lake with you?”

“Me, _and_ Alex, _and_ Trevor,” Jack says. “Not just me. You could power through, though.”

“I think I’m busy,” Cole says.

“_Every_ day?” Jack squints at him. 

Cole’s heart swells in his chest, but he keeps a straight face. “Yeah, I think so,” he says solemnly. 

There’s a quick knock at the door and they both take a step back like a reflex, lightning quick, as a PA sticks her head in. “We’ve got to move along,” she says, and she disappears back out the door before Jack says anything. 

Jack turns his hat back around and takes a deep breath, and he turns back to Cole. “Duty calls,” he says, smiling a little. 

“Put your game face on,” Cole says, smiling back. 

“Think about it, eh?” Jack squeezes Cole’s elbow as he walks towards the door. “The cabin, I mean.”

“I’ll let you know,” Cole says, grinning at him. “No promises, though.” He's definitely going to go, no question. 

Jack stops at the door and clasps his hands together, pouts at Cole and mouths, _please_, and then slips back out into the chaos.

...

Halfway through July, Cole drives up to the cabin with Alex.

Cole worries the whole way up that he’s going to say something about Jack that gives everything away, but Alex hooks up his phone to the radio as soon as they get on the highway and they end up listening to music the whole drive up. Cole isn’t really sure it’s still a secret, but he’s not sure either if he’s the one who should tell Alex. 

Nobody’s at the cabin when they first get there, but Trevor’s truck is parked in the driveway, so they sit on the steps to wait. When Jack’s car finally pulls in, Cole gets butterflies in his stomach.

Jack takes the steps two at a time, and Cole notices that Trevor and Alex spend way too long hugging for two people who’ve barely been apart for a month. “Hi, sorry, hi,” Jack says, and he’s beaming at Cole. Jack kisses him, lightning quick, and Cole sucks in a breath. “Relax, they’re not paying attention,” Jack adds quickly, his voice low, “they’re oblivious, I think Zegs is in love with Alex.”

Cole shakes his head and tries to catch up. “Wait, what? _Why_?”

Jack picks up one of Alex’s bags from the steps and makes his other hand look like it’s talking. “Blah blah blah, wouldn’t shut up about him the whole time we were gone. Fucking gross, right?” He raises an eyebrow and grins at Cole. “I’ll bet you fifty bucks they hook up while we’re up here.”

“They’re your _friends_,” Cole says. “Why would you bet that?”

“Because they’re going to hook up while we’re up here,” Jack shrugs. “It’s an easy fifty bucks.”

Cole glances back over and Trevor has his hand on Alex’s side, smiling at Alex like he’s the only person left on earth. Cole squints at them for a minute. He’ll never say it out loud, but maybe Jack’s right. “Can you guys maybe, like, move your romantic reunion inside or something?” he calls out, and when Alex looks over his shoulder, he’s beaming. Cole pretends to swat at an invisible mosquito on the side of his neck. “I'm gonna be eaten _alive_ here.”

“Ooh,” Jack grins as he unlocks the door. “Eaten alive, eh? Sounds like a fun week for you.”

...

Cole is out on the back deck the next morning in one of Jack’s sweatshirts when Trevor comes outside, barefoot and wearing a sweatshirt that Cole is pretty sure also belongs to Jack. “Morning,” Trevor says around a yawn, and he sits down in a chair.

“Morning,” Cole says. “Is Jack still making coffee, he’s been in there forever.”

Trevor laughs and stretches his arms over his head. “Yeah, he’s still working on it,” he says. “Seems like a real struggle.”

“I heard that,” Jack calls from the kitchen. 

“I think you should reconsider the choices you’re making with your life,” Trevor continues, grinning at Cole. “I mean, really _think_ about what you’re getting yourself into here.”

Jack comes outside a couple seconds later, two mugs of coffee in one hand, and he hands one to Cole and then swats Trevor in the back of the head. “_Quit_ putting stupid thoughts in his head, dipshit.”

“Hey, be nice,” Trevor says, rubbing at the back of his head, but he’s laughing. “What, no coffee for me?”

Jack sends them into town to pick up a couple things to grill for dinner, but Trevor ends up dragging Cole into a bunch of little shops until it’s almost lunchtime. There are a couple restaurants around, but they end up getting ice cream cones instead, and they’re sitting in the grass in a park at the end of the street when Cole says, “Hey, take a selfie with me so I can send it to the boys.”

Trevor messes with his hair a little and then he hooks an arm around Cole’s neck, pulling him close. “_This’ll_ make your boyfriend jealous, for sure,” he says as Cole holds up his phone, and Cole laughs as he snaps a couple of pictures. 

“I hate when you call him that,” Cole says as he sends the picture to the group text. “My _boyfriend_, just call him Jack.”

“I mean, I’ve gotta get some mileage out of this while it’s still fresh,” Trevor says. He watches Cole for a minute and then leans back on his hands. “You and _Jack_, it looks like that thing you’ve got going is still working out.”

Cole laughs. “Seems that way, yeah.” It’s weird, having it out in the open like this, just a thing that they both know about that isn’t a secret anymore. Cole is a little surprised to find that it’s kinda nice.

“So, like.” Trevor pauses, and Cole looks over at him but Trevor is frowning down at his hands. “Can I ask kind of a stupid question?” 

“Sure,” Cole says.

Trevor glances up at him and then right back at his hands. “Like, you’re gonna be a thousand miles apart in a couple months,” he says carefully. 

Cole squints at Trevor when Trevor doesn’t say anything else. “Right,” Cole says carefully. 

“And you’re just gonna...” Trevor sits up straight and brushes his hands off on his shorts. “I mean, what’re you gonna do about that?”

Cole thinks back to that night on the bus in February, the way the brand newness of it all made everything feel terrifying, dangerous, impossible. It feels like a lifetime ago now. “Nothing, really,” he says. They’ve talked about it a little since then - not much, but a little. “FaceTime more often, probably.”

“_FaceTime_.” Trevor smiles a little. “No big deal, just you and your pro hockey-playing boyfriend, FaceTiming every night. A totally normal situation.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Cole says, laughing. “He’s still just Jack, you’re acting like—”

“Oh, like _what_?” Trevor says. He’s laughing, too, and Cole wants to bottle it up, the way it sounds and the way it makes him feel. “I’m acting like what, like he’s not going to just go off to Jersey and leave you behind? I feel like somebody told you that recently. Who was that?” Trevor pretends to think for a long and overdramatic second, and Cole rolls his eyes when Trevor snaps his fingers. “It was me,” Trevor nods, smug. “I told you that. Remember?”

“_Listen_,” Cole says, pointing at Trevor. “That whole week was really _stressful_, I was really stressed about everything, and Jack never seems stressed so that just made it worse. I wasn’t thinking clearly.”

“Hey, you don’t have to explain yourself to me, bud,” Trevor says. “I get it. Guys like him and Turcs, though, they _don’t_ get it. You and me, we need that validation, you know? Like, even if you want to look chill on the outside, at least make sure I _know_ you’re stressed on the inside, come on.” He pushes at Cole’s shoulder. “At least I told you I was stressed.”

“You did,” Cole nods. He tries not to focus on the way Trevor’s eyes went a little bit soft when he’d mentioned Alex. “Congrats. Do you want a trophy or something?”

Trevor laughs, loud and bright. “Shut the fuck up.”

Cole smiles, watching Trevor, and he counts to three in his head before he says, “Why’d you ask me about next year?”

“Ohhh, no reason,” Trevor says, and Cole knows instantly that he’s lying.

Trevor is terrible at hiding his feelings, always has been; especially now, his heart is in full display on his sleeve. Cole wonders how he’d missed it all this time. “It’s kinda easy to be scared of something when you’re not letting yourself be totally open, you know?” Cole watches Trevor, and there’s a long pause before Trevor looks back over at him. His cheeks are pink, but Cole can’t tell if it’s because of the sun or something else. “It’s just something I've been thinking about over the last few months, I don’t know,” Cole adds, softer. “Thought maybe it’d be helpful for whatever you’re going through.”

Trevor smiles a little and looks down at the grass. “Do I seem like I’m going through something?” he asks. 

“Seems like you might be,” Cole says. They’re quiet again and Cole combs his fingers through the grass. He debates even saying anything at all, but he feels like he has to ask, “Did you ask me about next year because you're gonna have a similar problem for next year?”

“I mean...no.” Trevor squints at something in the distance. “Not exactly.”

“That’s what similar means,” Cole says.

“Listen, _Einstein_,” Trevor says, but he looks at Cole. “I feel like maybe I’m gonna have a similar problem next year, yeah. A little more unrequited than yours. Yeah.” 

Cole leans back on his hands. “I think it’s nice when you find out that somebody likes you,” he says after a minute. He feels like he’s building a house of cards, like any second he could breathe wrong and everything could all come crashing down. “You know?”

Trevor is quiet for a long time before he clears his throat. “What if you don’t _know_ if it’s somebody who likes you back, though?”

Cole glances over at him. “Who is it?” he asks, but he’s pretty sure he already knows. 

”Just, anybody.” Trevor makes a face. “It’s hypothetical.”

“I think Alex likes you back,” Cole says. “Is that what you want me to say?”

Trevor takes a deep breath and nods. “Alex, or whoever I’m talking about,” he says. “I never _said_ it’s Alex.”

“Right, Alex or whoever,” Cole says. “I was obviously just using him as an example.”

“Right, right.” Trevor nods slowly. “Of course.”

“Listen,” Cole says. “I think it’s worth a shot. And if it goes south, I mean, at least you’ll be away at college for a while. Look at it that way.”

“But if it _doesn’t_ go south,” Trevor says carefully. “Then I don’t get to see him until like, winter break.”

“This is still a hypothetical someone?” Cole tilts his head a little. 

Trevor lets out a long breath and drops his head back, and Cole bites back a smile. “Fine, yes, okay? It’s obviously not hypothetical, I’m obviously talking about Alex, leave me alone.”

Cole grins and reaches over, shoving at Trevor’s shoulder. “I _knew_ it, I knew it was him.”

“He’s super out of my league,” Trevor says, shaking his head. “It’s never gonna happen, I don’t know why I’m even thinking about it.”

“He’s not super out of your league.” Cole frowns at him. “You told me not to sell myself short, you have to take your own advice.”

“He’s just so _nice_,” Trevor says with a sigh. “I’m cool with just being in awe of him forever. I’m cool with that.”

“Right,” Cole says. “You are?”

“_Stop_ questioning me,” Trevor says. “I haven’t told anybody about you and Hughes, the _least_ you can do is support me in my time of need.”

“You’re right, he is out of your league,” Cole says, nodding. “You’re _way_ too fucking dramatic for somebody like him.”

“He’s got this dimple,” Trevor looks over at Cole, tapping his own cheek. “Right here?”

Cole grins. “Uh-huh,” he says. 

“And he smiles at me, and it’s like, I’m _useless_.” Trevor shakes his head. “Don’t ever tell anybody I said that. _Especially_ not Hughes. I’ll figure it out, okay, I’ll handle it.”

Both of their phones are laying on the grass between them, and Cole’s lights up then with two messages from Jack, one right after the other. The first one is just three heart-eyed faces, and then the second one says _that selfie!!! zegs is cute too but MAN i love ur fuckin face. _

Trevor looks down at it instinctively at the same time Cole does. “Oh, shit, sorry,” Trevor says, looking away quickly. “I thought that was mine.”

Cole feels a little embarrassed but he shakes his head. “It's okay,” he says, automatic, but then he realizes it actually is okay. 

“This probably sounds dumb,” Trevor says, “but you guys are like, stupid cute.” 

Cole makes a face. “Stupid cute,” he says. “I’m the cute and Jack’s the stupid, right?”

Trevor rests his cheek on his shoulder and smiles. “Obviously.”

“Perfect,” Cole says, and it makes Trevor laugh in the way where his whole face lights up. “Thanks, that’s really...weird. And nice. Thanks.”

“We should get back, right?” Trevor says. “Don’t want your _boyfriend_ thinking I’ve got any ulterior motives or anything.”

Cole blushes because he can’t help himself, but he shoves Trevor in the shoulder. “Fuck off,” he says, laughing. “You’ve gotta watch it. He said you wouldn’t shut up about Turcs the other day, he’s already got you figured out. If you don’t do something about it, he definitely will.”

“He’s an observant little fucker, isn’t he?” Trevor shakes his head as he stands up, and he holds out a hand to Cole and raises his eyebrows. “Guess I better watch my back.”

...

The next morning, Cole wakes up before the sun. Jack is curled up against his side, face buried in Cole’s neck, arm thrown across Cole’s waist. The window is open and the breeze coming in is already heavy, but it takes every ounce of Cole’s energy to untangle himself from Jack and get out of bed anyway.

Cole is standing at the sink, looking out the window when Jack comes downstairs; the sky is pink and orange and yellow, no clouds at all. “Looks like it’s gonna be the perfect day to do literally nothing,” Jack says quietly, kissing the back of Cole’s shoulder and hugging him around the waist. 

Cole smiles and looks over at Jack. “_Literally_ nothing?” he says, raising an eyebrow. Jack’s hair is crazy and his eyes are tired, but he laughs and bites at Cole’s shoulder and Cole loves him more than anything in the entire world. 

“Well,” Jack says, and Cole laughs and turns around to face him. “Maybe not _literally_ nothing.”

The coffee takes forever to brew, and by the time it’s done Jack has Cole backed up into the corner of the counter, his hands braced on either side of Cole’s hips and his back to the doorway. “We're gonna get caught,” Cole whispers, a halfhearted warning, closing his eyes as Jack kisses the side of his neck.

“It’s _so_ early, chill out,” Jack whispers against Cole’s skin. “They won't be up for hours.” 

Cole laughs and puts his hands on Jack’s hips. “Chill out,” he says in a pretty bad impression of Jack, but it makes Jack laugh anyway. “Alex gets up early sometimes, you’re gonna jinx it.”

“Yeah, well,” Jack says. When he moves his hand, he knocks a couple of mugs against each other, and Cole winces. “Maybe he won’t today.”

Cole laughs, tightening his grip on Jack’s hips. “Shut _up_,” he whispers. “It’s like you _want_ him to walk in on this.”

“Oh right, that’s my favorite fucking thing in the world, when my friends walk in on me and my _boyfriend_ making out,” Jack whispers back, grinning. “Shut the fuck up and let me make out with you in peace for a couple minutes.”

Cole laughs. “You’re such a fucking asshole sometimes,” he says. 

“Yeah, maybe,” Jack says softly, “but I'm _your_ fucking asshole, babe.” 

Cole loves Jack anyway, completely and endlessly, but Jack first thing in the morning like this is absolutely irresistible. He’s soft and relaxed and sleepy, easier to joke back and forth with, and Cole tries to commit every detail of this moment to memory so he can remind himself of how it feels when they’re a thousand miles apart in the fall. 

Jack is sucking at a spot on Cole’s neck when the bottom stair creaks, and Cole looks up and notices Alex in the doorway. Cole freezes, and Alex clears his throat. “Uh, good morning,” Alex says. He’s blushing but he’s also smirking a little, and Cole kinda wants to die.

Jack goes still under Cole’s hands. “Oh no,” he whispers against Cole’s neck. “Is that Turcs?” 

“I _told_ you this was gonna happen,” Cole hisses back.

Jack drops his forehead onto Cole’s shoulder for a second. “Well, fuck,” he whispers, but when he lifts his head, Cole can see him biting back a smile. “Cover’s blown.”

“You did this on purpose,” Cole whispers, shoving Jack’s shoulder as Alex walks over to the refrigerator.

Jack laughs and pokes him in the side. “I _didn’t_, shut up,” he whispers back, and then he clears his throat. “Morning, Turcs!” he says at a normal volume, and he takes a step back and laces his hands together behind his back, quirking an eyebrow at Cole. 

“Um, sorry.” Alex walks over and opens the refrigerator, and then he closes it again without taking anything out. His ears are red, and Cole is quietly grateful that Alex is a little embarrassed, too. “I definitely didn’t know anybody was up yet.”

Cole rubs the back of his neck, and he knows he’s blushing like crazy but then Alex meets his eyes and smiles. “It’s cool,” Jack says, eyes still locked on Cole, still smirking. “Not the first time that’s happened, we’re used to it.”

Cole rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “You’re a fucking idiot, shut up,” he says, and Jack smirks at him. “We’re not _used_ to it, that’s happened one other time.”

“Keeps things interesting,” Jack continues, as if Cole isn’t even saying anything. 

“Can you please shut the fuck up?” Cole says quietly, but when he glances over at Alex, Alex is smirking, too. “He’s a fucking idiot,” he adds, sounding a little more desperate than he’d like, but it just makes Alex break into a full on grin. “Stop smiling, this is just going to encourage him, stop.”

“Maybe interesting is the wrong word.” Jack is grinning too, when Cole looks back at him. “Maybe it keeps things _exciting_.”

“Okay, _shut up_,” Cole says. His face feels like it’s on fire. “Shut up. _Stop_ saying stupid shit. I’ve gotta take a shower.”

“I’ll be right up, babe!” Jack says, grinning devilishly. 

“Oh my _god_,” Cole shakes his head, and now his entire body feels like it’s on fire. “_No_, you won’t.” He looks at Alex, hoping for some kind of backup, but Alex is laughing. “He _won’t_.” Cole hopes he doesn’t sound as desperate as he thinks he sounds. “I can’t fucking stand you,” he mutters to Jack, shoving him in the hip before walking out of the room, and he can hear Jack laughing as he goes upstairs. 

When Cole gets back to the room after he showers, there’s a sheet of notebook paper folded in half on his pillow. His name is scrawled across the front in Jack’s handwriting with a lopsided heart underneath it; Cole rolls his eyes and opens the paper. _meet me at the hammock asap, love from your secret admirer_.

Jack is laying in the hammock when Cole gets outside. He’s shirtless and wearing a pair of neon yellow sunglasses, pushing the hammock with one foot on the ground. “Did you know it was me?” Jack asks without looking at him. “Your secret admirer, I mean.”

“No idea,” Cole says, and Jack sits up and anchors his feet so Cole can get in, too. “Totally shocked.” They get settled back in the hammock, and Jack pushes at the ground with his toes again. “Cool glasses.”

“Stole ‘em from Zegs,” Jack says, playing with Cole’s hair. “I think they probably look better on him.”

“Nah, they make you look cool.” 

“Fucking finally,” Jack says softly, and Cole smiles. “Alex is going to keep an eye on you in Wisconsin, by the way. Just a little heads up.”

“Excuse me, but you’re the one who’s gonna be turned loose in the big city,” Cole says, and Jack laughs. “I don’t need anybody to look after me as much as _you_ need somebody to look after you.”

“I don’t think Newark is a big city,” Jack says. 

“Uh, yes, it is,” Cole says.

“Not bigger than Madison,” Jack fires back.

“This isn’t a competition,” Cole says, laughing. “Newark is a big city. I’m gonna be at _school_.”

“We both need guardians, you’re right.” Jack takes Cole’s hand and fits their fingers together, and then he turns his head to nose at Cole’s jaw. 

“I _don’t_ think that’s what I said,” Cole says quietly.

“They’ll assign one of the vets to look after me, quit worrying about it,” Jack says softly. 

There’s a long stretch of quiet, and Cole says, “You told Alex?” 

Jack nods, his head on Cole’s shoulder. “I mean, he probably figured it out in the kitchen.” He lifts his head, and Cole looks at him. “He’s not _that_ stupid.”

“Oh my god,” Cole says. “I meant about _us_, dumbass.”

Jack laughs and rests his head on Cole’s shoulder again. “What, that we’re _official_ or whatever, that I asked you to go steady?”

Cole sighs. “You’re a complete embarrassment.”

“I told him about us, yeah,” Jack says, his voice more serious. “He was cool with it, obviously.” 

“Obviously,” Cole echoes. He hadn’t thought it was that obvious, and it fills him with this weird sense of relief. “I hope you also told him we don’t shower together.”

“Nope.” Jack turns his face against Cole’s neck. “Come on, _that_ was funny.”

“He’s gonna think we’re obsessed with each other,” Cole says. “Did you forget I’m gonna be stuck with him in Wisconsin, I’m never gonna hear the end of this.”

“I mean, I’m obsessed with you, aren’t you obsessed with me?” When Cole doesn’t answer, Jack sighs and hugs him around the waist. “I was thinking, what if you just come to Jersey with me instead of Wisconsin? You’re smart enough already, you don’t need college. We can look after each other.” 

“Too late for that,” Cole says softly. “Should’ve thought of that when you were talking up Moynihan in the spring.”

Jack laughs, and it’s the most beautiful sound Cole’s ever heard. “Should’ve dropped your name when I had the chance,” he whispers. “Fucking rookie mistake.”

“Oh, I _love_ Moynihan,” Cole whispers, poking Jack in the ribs until Jack is breathless with laughter. “Moynihan is the _best_, I love him _so_ much, I can’t live without him. Cole _who_?”

“Okay, stop, _stop_,” Jack says, still laughing. He swats at Cole’s hand. “Come on, I think it’s pretty obvious that I love you _way_ more than I love Moynihan,” Jack says when he catches his breath. “That should count for _something_.”

Cole laughs and closes his eyes, and Jack sighs and settles in closer, resting his temple against Cole’s. “I wish we could just fast-forward a couple years, you know?” Jack says quietly. “Skip through some of it, see where we end up.” He doesn’t say what he means, exactly, but Cole thinks maybe that’s the point. 

“I think you’re gonna be great,” Cole whispers. “I think we will be, too.”

“You’ve boosted your confidence since the spring,” Jack whispers back. 

“I mean, I’ve grown up a lot,” Cole says. It makes Jack laugh and turn his face into Cole’s neck, and Cole closes his eyes. “Wisdom, you know. It’ll happen to you someday, don’t worry.”

“Shut up,” Jack says, poking Cole in the ribs. There’s a long stretch where neither of them says anything, and then Jack lets out a little sigh. “Does this still scare you?”

It’s blunt and upfront, like always, and Cole takes a minute to absorb the question before he says anything. “Kind of. Yeah.” 

“Okay.” Jack chews at his bottom lip. “Okay, cool. Me too, a little.”

“Not the same way as before, though,” Cole says quietly. “Like, it’s just a few years, right?”

“Right, yeah,” Jack says. “And maybe we won’t have to worry about things working out. Maybe it’s like your heart beating or something. You don’t have to think about it, it just happens.” He pauses, and then he lets out this little exhale of breath and kisses Cole’s temple. “I don’t know. Maybe that’s stupid. Naive.”

Cole doesn’t answer right away. “I don’t think so,” he finally says. “Maybe it’s a good idea to be a little naive.”

Jack doesn’t say anything for a long time, and then he noses behind Cole’s ear. Cole closes his eyes and focuses on the way this moment feels, the air heavy with humidity and a hot late-summer breeze. He listens to the birds overhead, the rustling of the leaves, focuses on the solid familiarity of Jack pressed against his side. He wraps it all up in his mind as best he can, a memory box of feelings he hopes he can hold onto. 

“I’m not going to leave you behind,” Jack adds, softer. “I hope you know that.”

The ache Cole feels in his chest is endless, but somehow, above all that, he still feels hopeful. _I’ll miss you anyway_, he thinks, but the idea of being apart doesn’t seem quite so terrifying anymore. 

“Yeah,” Cole says, and he feels Jack smile against his neck. “I do.”

**Author's Note:**

> [This](http://mihockey.com/2019/03/jack-hughes-breaks-ntdp-points-record/) is the post-game interview when Jack calls Cole his buddy, it ruined my entire life. And [this](https://youtu.be/sg2LJwK5sS8) is the James Bay version of The Best.


End file.
